Tuesday, August 4, 2009
One of the reasons I love blogging is because it seems that everyone tends to focus on the positive and the little moments of life with post and images. It helps keep life in focus for me . So it is hard for me to blog when I am passing through a rough patch . But I know that blogging has helped me when I see others share their rough patches and then I know "Hey " I am not alone and in turn neither are they . Knowing that the downs in life are normal helps when you look outside your self and see into others worlds. My life the past 6-8 weeks has been just like I am spinning in water going down a drain. My husband Cal hit a very rough time in his life . He was a building contractor .I say "was" as he lost the business in the past weeks. The housing market is so bad that he just could not hold it together, after 35 years in the business. The last client did not pay the final bill on the home he built for them and so that was the final event that sent him and the business over the edge . He spiraled into depression so deep he became unable to do the smallest of functions . While trying to help him I took over the managing and closing down of what was left of his company . I must say I was a fish out of water. I knew very little about this type of business !!! But I learned and I managed to get the job done. Mean while our house sold (yes we passed the inspections!!) and we close at the end of the month to wonderful buyers who will love the home as I have. So I am packing and trying to get us moved to AZ. In doing so I have made many trips between NM an AZ in the middle of all of this .We are down sizing from a 3400 sq. foot house to our condo of 1150 sq. feet. The high stress for me has been my worry for Cal and how will I do everything while still trying to keep my art business alive as I will be the soul supporter while Cal finds his way back to "center" . As you can see by my etsy shop and class cancellations, the thing that fell to the wayside was my art and blogging the two areas where I draw so much strength. A week and a half ago I checked Cal into an out patient clinic for the treatment of severe depression. He will be their for 35 days . He had almost reached the cationic space of no return . I am happy to say when I saw him sunday he is talking coherently again . I feel hope, but it will be a long recovery. Men are physically stronger then women but inside they lack so many of the strengths and emotional insights that we women draw upon .I am not saying women do not get depressed, we do and how!!! It is just that we are lucky to be women and more in touch with our emotional needs . So being a woman I felt that I needed to express this in my blog/ journal . Putting my tough journey of the past months out in the open and therefore one more step towards letting it go. I bet I am not alone in this as I know many of you have hit hard times also with the bad economy . I hope my sharing the losses Cal and I have had will help, those of you who may be going through a similar experience not feel so alone . Sometimes in life we can loose a "safe " lifestyle, but as long as we have not lost our life ,we have not lost the true treasure !! This week I am squeezing in some creative time.... Yippee . I just said I need this!! Oh plus I am a vender for Art Unraveled on Sat. I do have to say I will have MUCH less to offer then I had hoped . Due to our problems , but I am going anyway as I need to interact with the creative energy of those who will be there too. The piece I have posted this evening is based on how I have felt these past weeks. I just wanted to fly or run away from it all .This piece is also part if a group I am doing for Somerset Studio called "One Palette". Well, alas I think the worst is over and the tide has turned.